A Usefull Kitchen Soap Dispenser

I’m sure you’ve seen more than your fair share of soap dispensers in your lifetimes so this in no way is reinventing the wheel nor the soap dispenser except to simply make those every day dishwashing tasks just a little easier and who knows, it might even save you a little scratch over the long term. Use the extra pennies saved to add to your super fund cleanup ambitions or whatever.
Now, why am I even writing this? Have we enough soap dispensers on the market right now that no others need exist? Well, perhaps, but perhaps this one just makes sense, is dirt cheap and just handy.. Fair enough? Keep reading.
The small glass oil and vinegar bottles are easy enough to come by. You can likely snatch a few for a buck each at just about any well stocked corner box pharmacy, grocers or dollar stores and even some not so well stocked places have them or you might already have a bunch just sitting around just waiting for your next brilliant solution to some problem you don’t even know exist yet. It might now even be a problem in your life. Heck, you might even be so fortunate that you can afford to pay your very own private dishwasher to toil away day and night in your kitchen after having had them shipped across two oceans and three continents just for that very task. If that’s the case and you’re that rich STOP reading now and please slit your wrist since there’s a high probability you’re the type who takes advantage of poor people just because you can. Short of those extenuating circumstances let’s get busy.

Now, This is NOT rocket science and you won’t need any special tools nor training. You might need an old dish rag and maybe the end of a sharp knife..Maybe, but that’s really about it. You might have to go buy some liquid dishwashing liquid if you haven’t already and I do suggest the thickest variety of Dawn dishwashing liquid you can find, but the ordinary, run of the mill type will suffice just as well in an extreme emergency. I really can’t think of anything that could possibly make it arise to the level of an extreme emergency, but hey, some people seem to think that not having the optimum thickness of dishwashing liquid as an extreme emergency.. You never know, huh?

So here’s what I do. I don’t fill the bottle all the way to the top with dishwashing liquid. Of a 4 ounce bottle I MIGHT add less than a full ounce of liquid soap and the rest just plain warm water. Cap it and tighten down using that dish rag and try it. If you’re only getting a few tiny drops of liquid soap to dispense here’s where the sharp tipped knife comes in.Widen the little hole with the knife a bit and be careful to not gouge a big ass bloody hole in your hand(s). I won’t be held liable if you do, but you’re always welcomed to try to sue me. Another alternative to the knife trick might be to use a dill bit just big enough to widen the tip and that’s about the limit you will ever need to go with over engineering this handy little device.
If you ever find the soap kind of clogging things up with dried soap just add a bit less soap until you find the proper ratio of soap to water. It’s probably far easier to figure that part out than it is just reading this far into my quick and easy directions.
Now for the fun part! Go wash some dishes! Everyone LOVES doing the dishes especially when the other much lazier members of your household wouldn’t dare lift a finger to assist you in such simple tasks as washing dishes and in that case YOU, not them will get all the glory and satisfaction of a job well done. After all, aren’t they really the lazy ones and YOU the eager beaver far more worthy of praise than anyone else in your household? I thought so. Congratulations!

Just for the record and out of pure self preservation I am NOT calling Sylvia nor anyone else in my household lazy nor do I make any such representations. I have chosen of my own free will to be the dedicated household man servant and all around dishwasher in this household.

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